Yay Good Conversation

So I've had a couple really good conversations with a few friends over the last day or two. They've given me a little perspective. I've been thinking a lot recently on faith, on what faith means and what all it entails. But now I'm getting ahead of myself. 

I had a great conversation with a friend the other night. Very down to earth, very real. We talked about all kinds of things. God, childhood, innocence, faith, sex, mercy and justice, God's presentation in the Bible, lifestyle choices. He and I agree on probably none of these things, and it was one of the most encouraging conversations I've had in a long time. He said something at one point that really struck me. We were discussing my beliefs, and I was saying that I'm very open to being questioned about and challenged on my faith, because if I can't question it, I can never be sure of it. It's only if my beliefs can stand up to doubt that they can really be real. 

Anyway, right after that, he told me that be that as it may, he couldn't ask me the same types of things he would ask a normal friend. The kinds of things "the faithful don't talk about." I think he was expressing a really common stereotype (a stereotype that's far too often the truth) about Christians that I really have a problem with. 

My faith encompasses all of my life. There are no parts of it where it's like, "Hold on, this subject makes God uncomfortable. Let's not talk about it ever." My faith doesn't fit in a little box that I take out whenever it seems relevant to my current situation. Too many people pick out the parts of their faith that they can share in every day life and then just don't ever go near the parts that might seem awkward or uncomfortable. But God doesn't work like that. You can't out-awkward God. There's no question you can ask Him that's going to make Him blush and stammer. A faith that only pertains to some parts of your life and not others is not a faith worth having.

Every lifestyle choice I make is a direct result of God's love for me. It's not because of some arbitrary rule or some law that the Church preaches. My faith is real - I've questioned it, I've doubted it, I've really looked at it so that I'm not believing anything blindly but really understanding what I believe and why. It doesn't shy away from the hard things about life. It's not poetic little sayings that I can throw out when the going gets tough. The world is messed up, and terrible things happen every day. My friend I was talking to was telling me stories of things he'd gone through that absolutely broke my heart. 

God sees, and God knows. He sees our pain and He grieves right alongside us. He doesn't ever sit idly by and watch us struggle and hurt. He is always actively working in our lives. His goal for us is not to punish us for our wrongdoings; it's for us to come back to Him and see the absolute love, acceptance, and joy that comes through - and only through - a personal relationship with Him. 

That's radical. It's life-changing. Once you have experienced the love of God, you can't live the same way anymore. 

I feel kind of like I'm in a little faith bubble here. And in a way, it's been good. I've got a fantastic group of friends that are a solid foundation for me. God has blessed me with an absolutely amazing church whose goal is the Gospel and nothing else. I've been trained here. And I know I have a lot of training left, a lot of the world yet to see and understand. But I'm getting anxious. I'm ready to be out of my bubble. I want to be somewhere where I can share Christ with people and watch Him change their lives. I know that He can do it. I've heard other people's stories. And I want to experience it for myself.

The Gospel isn't quiet. It's aggressive, and it's offensive. It makes people uncomfortable. And shouldn't it? It challenges everything they believe and cling to. If we weren't made uncomfortable, we would never see that something was amiss. And if we never saw anything was amiss, we would never start to look for a solution for it. Fortunately for us, God already provided a solution. And the power of the resurrection is unstoppable. It'll change your life if you let it. I did, and I ain't never turning back. :)

Without God ...

I'm a mess. I had a great conversation with a friend the other night about the desperate need our country has for God. America has told God to leave the country, and He's not one to force Himself where He's not wanted. We talked about how the concept of encouraging greatness - not just success or wealth, but encouraging someone's capacity to really be great - has fallen by the wayside, about how it's rare to see people that are passionate about what they do. The very presence of God is encouraging, and inspires people to do more, to be more, than they otherwise would. Because with God, we're part of His plan, part of something bigger. It's not just about working this job to get enough money to buy nice things and impress all our neighbors. It's about living passionately in the joy of Christ. Think about that for a minute. Living in joy.

I'm reading a book right now called Desiring God, by John Piper. It's all about what he calls Christian Hedonism - living and displaying the joy of God, which can be found no where else and which is utterly life changing. Because unlike everything else in our world, the joy that's found in God is unconditional. 

My life often fails to live up to this. I make a concentrated effort to spend time with God every day. After all, if it's the most important relationship I have, shouldn't I be nurturing it? I go out of my way to encourage my relationships with my siblings, with my parents, with my friends. But for whatever reason, sometimes my efforts in my relationship with God seem to slide. And even though I can see it happening, most of the time I don't do anything about it right away. Maybe one night I'm up really late so my quiet time doesn't get done. It's not a humongous deal. But then the next night something happens, and it doesn't get done again. My mornings may get rushed and then my Scripture memorization time slides. And this will go on for a week before I stop and say, Wait a minute. I don't like who I am when I'm not abiding in God. I'm jealous and petty and unforgiving. I become less responsible. I become insecure and irritable and self-involved. 

After a week or so, I look at myself and I have to bonk myself on the head, because I did it again. I've done this so many times; don't you think I'd learn? God changes me. When I'm dwelling in and on His love instead of on all the frustrating and irritating things that happen during my day-to-day life, I'm happy, and I'm content, and I'm able to focus on others and on loving on and encouraging them. And that's how I want to be. Getting by is not good enough. Just like our country has done, when I ignore God, I start to lose my desire for greatness, my passion for life and for the things I love doing. I can get so wrapped up in what I'm doing that I totally forget that there are bigger things, that I'm part of a bigger plan - His plan. I want my life to be great. Not that I need success or wealth or to be famous or anything like that, because you can be great without any of those things. I want my life to be great in the way it honors God and brings glory to His Name.

I want to stand on the rooftops and persuade passers-by that God is the answer to their problems. He gives us hope. He loves us unconditionally. He delights in us. As the song goes, "I know I am loved by the King." Those are small sentences, but huge concepts. They're things that have changed my life, that have changed me, from the inside out. When I look at who I'd be without Him, who I am when I haven't been spending any time with Him, I'm reminded of just how important it is for God to be my everything. The pleasure and joy I gain in spending time with Him outweighs any excuse I have to spend that time any other way.